The Goddess's Messenger
by Batta the Beast
Summary: Louise summons the strongest familiar in the universe, Homura from To the Stars.


To the Stars Homura gets summoned by Ms. Louise. Apparently everyone can understand each other in the LNs so they can here too =D.  
If you haven't read To the Stars, you really should since it is the best fic on ffnet.

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The Goddess's Messenger

Okay so once apron a time Mr. Louise wanted a kawaii familiar. Actually she had to summon one to prove herself as the **greatest** Valliere, far greater than that stupid Kirche!

"Okay you shitty rich spoiled brats," said Colbert. "Time to summon some worthless crap."

"I am THE GREATEST," said Guiche and out popped his shitty mole; Larvitar. Wait that's not even shitty but whatever.

Then Kirche was like, "I'm so ardently passionate! Go summon!..." and out popped Yukihara Soma!

"You're not a fiery person! You're just a commoner!"

"Wow lame! Ew a commoner!"

"Figures Kirche would summon a guy."

"But I have red hair! And I CAN COOK!" said Mr. Soma, who whipped up his super yummy **evolved nori bento** that beat Alice.

Kirche took a bite and went "HNNNNNNNG!" Then Kirche's clothes exploded and she fainted.

Anyways then some other dudes summoned some shit but then it was LOUISE'S turn

 _Oh Founder Brimir (a POS), please let me summon the coolest most powerful familiar somewhere in this universe!_

And she huffed, and she puffed, and she summoned the **most powerful, coolest familiar EVER.**

Meanwhile somewhere far far away on an alien core world, Homura hovered over some decimated city with her nightmarishly obsidian wings. The city lay in ruins after Homura had crushed the foolish fools, but some cruisers appeared on the horizon firing their weapons. Homura merely clenched her fist and they all died horribly horrible deaths.

 **But then,** Louise's shitty portal appeared and summoned her to Halkegenia lol.

* _boom_ * went Louise's explosion and Hameru appeared in normal military outfit without her wings of death.

"Zomg it's a commoner!"

"MUST BE FROM RUB AL KHALI!"

 _Nooo I summoned a loser commoner girl! Like Kirche! Guess I'll have to kiss her!_

Then Louise kissed Homura…

"What the **bloody hell!** " and Homura smashed Louise's face with her fist for this unforgivable transgression against Goddess Madoka.

*Scene Break*

"I am Guiche the Bronze, and I shall crush you little girl!"

"I'm probably 30 times older than you…"

"Go! My bronze Valkyries!"

"Your magic is shit," replied Hameru, who merely raised an eyebrow.

The golem fell to pieces instantaneously.

"Noo! My beautiful reward!" said Pigma…or Guiche. "I shall now summon 10 more golems! Lock S foils in attack position!"

Homura blinked again and the golems fell to the floor in pieces.

"Nooo, now that's come to this, I now hack my Larvitar to level 100! Go Tyranitar! With my MEGA stone!"

So Guiche's Mtar used Dragon dance! And its speed and attack were multiplied by 1.5. Unfort, Homura has like 999999999 in each stat. And then she kieled the Mtar and Guiche with an arrow.

So Guiche died at the end of this epic duel.

*Scene break*

 _At the talent show._

"Come on Homura! You've got to show the peoples your super magical powers so I can win a flashy prize! Just transform pleaseeeeeee!"

"Lol I can do something even better," replied Homura.

So Homura showed up and showed them some MSY documents, then bowed.

Then they saw Fouquet with her **huge 100 m tall golem**.

Homura blinked at it and it died. Fouquet did not get a rocket launcher.

*Scene break*

 _In Albion with Wardes and the Prince_

"Gwahahahah! I am actually a traitor!" exclaimed the super suave Wardes. "Now die prince dude! Lightning wind wand stab ATTA…"

Wardes's words didn't finish leaving his mouth as his head (and body) were blown to bits by a purple arrow.

*Scene break*

 _In Albion with the 70,000 strong army._

"Holy shit there are **7 million troops!** " cried Louise.

"Louise… this is an anime set in the medieval times, they don't have a population of 7 million. The translators just suck," replied Homura.

 _I Say YES, wedding version plays in the background_ as Homura dramatically transforms and flies at the troops. They are such **powerful troops with SQUARE CLASS MAGES** who shoot shitty...i mean powerful elemental spells at Homura.

The spells suddenly disappeared and the enemy troops blinked in confusion. Then, Homura glared at the army, and tendrils of darkness shot up from the ground and crushed the **powerful square class mages** and everyone else.

Then Homura killed Joseph, used Rule Breaker on herself, and went to back to TtS verse to **make Hieronym finish his 6 volumes of TtS.** (More super special awesome space battles please!).

Happy End!

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 **Also, Epic TtS ending spoilers below** – 100% accurate

Ryouko has squid DNA! The squids came from a FA magical girl's wish to create squids to kill humanity. This somehow reduces entropy so the Incubators love this war. Joanne Valentin is a squid mad scientist spy. Simona traveled to Ryouko's timeline and was originally Ryouko herself! Shitt… And uh let's see. Kyouko dies after the grand conspiracy is revealed. Also hopefully the incubators all die n.n. And Ryouko marries Asami =D. Also…Mami finally gets into a relationship after 400+ years whoo!


End file.
